You don't wake up one day and go from unhealthy to healthy. So this is my journey. I am now in my two week "pre-op liquid protein diet" phase. Gastric Sleeve surgery is scheduled for Monday, August 30th. General info on the procedure is at Cleveland Clinic

Driven by Fear
This is Day 5. On Day One I just drank liquids but not the correct protein shake. Had a protein shake at JambaJuice which was great and fillilng, but as it has fruit in it, it is not the correct kind for now. Was afraid to try the protein shake I'm supposed to be drinking three times a day. The next day a nice man at Publix Supermarket, a customer just like me, helped me decide which one to buy. Bless him, it turned out great! For the last three days I've done very well in the daytime, not so good at night. Ate salami and cheese for two nights "dinner" and ate an entire bag of potato chips last night. Ugh! I smell like onions today! Oh well. Doing better than a gal I met recently who had to be rescheduled twice for eating huge meals the night before surgery!

Sharing Helps A Lot
Some people have trouble talking about their surgery before the fact, but I have gotten wonderful responses from friends and acquaintences. They are willilng to share their own experiences, give advice, and have just been absolutely generous with their time and knowledge, and with their hope.

Spirituality
I've been reading spiritual stuff related to the topic of overeating and found some good things online:

• Hazelden I especially like the one for today, August 21st. It says that food is a false god. I was looking to food, no doubt, to make me feel better these last two years since my husband told me inside he is really a woman.  Well, now he's my ex-husband, and he's a she, so it gets confusing. But that is SUCH ANOTHER STORY. That was good for an additional 50 pounds, tipping me over into the morbidly obese category. Therefore it must be clear that I was overweight before then. Well, that's why I need all the help I can get!
• soberrecovery.com (You have to go down a bit past the alcohol and narcotic information, but the thought for the day from a book called "Food for Thought" is there.
• Just plain praying to be released from the desire to eat compulsively.

Hope

Teachers started back to school this week, and I found myself looking at the way some of the gals dress, and thinking, "I'm going to wear that type of dress next year" (sundress...it's hot in Florida in August!) I really have not been interested in style, fashion, hair, makeup, etc., since my husband became interested in it! I have to laugh at myself. Who in the world ever thought they would be saying a sentence like that?

Now that he is out of my life (she) I can move forward and am looking happily to the day when;

• I can tie my shoes with no effort
• I can get up out of low chairs, couches, and cars without drama
• I can walk a couple of miles a day like I did in my 30's. Without my face turning red and sweating profusely
• I can eliminate or reduce meds for BP and cholesterol, and other meds.
• I can take a bath and not worry about how I am going to get up out of the tub!

Too much information? Okay. Enough for today.